Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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