is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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