my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize