I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she looked like the before picture.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
