everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
