it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
