I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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