I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the day after is always just damage control
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
