Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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