I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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