Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Randomize
