he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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