I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
