If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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