I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
