I want to make a zoo with you.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize