Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
