i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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