I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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