nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
