It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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