OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
