there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Couch. On fire.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
