how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like abortions should bother me more
im holly from the hills drunk
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
