Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize