Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
