they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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