So drunk its hurt
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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