Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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