that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize