i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
third nipple confirmed
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
