We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
