I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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