Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
