we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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