I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
