THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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