I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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