Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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