if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Where is the hickey?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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