She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
