highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
