Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize