Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
