He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My ATM looks so different sober.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
