how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
