Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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