Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Randomize
