pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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