well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
