so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
