you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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