I will die if light touches me.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
