My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hippo gnu deer
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
