Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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