people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
they need to just BURY HIM!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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