u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is the high leading the old right now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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