Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
