I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
